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( he already hates how he's begun this. hates that he asked bruce to wait and even followed it up with a please because of how weak it makes him look. damian knows that's not quite right. that grayson would correct that line of thinking had he been present and knew what was going through his mind. likely something about using manners isn't weak and asking one to wait isn't wrong. yet here damian stands, actively thinking to himself how ridiculous this is while also listening to grayson's voice telling him it isn't, like some grotesque auditory hallucination intent on ruining him.

but bruce does wait. damian - waits, too. waits in place for the doors to try to close to confirm this is bruce waiting and not just him standing in place whilst waiting for the elevator doors to shut between them. )

Why do you want me to leave? I understand I am not who you expect me to be, but it isn't as if you are who I would expect, either. No one is. Grayson is older, Todd is - different. You are younger. Nothing is as it should be.

( He wants him to leave because he's terrible at handling things he doesn't want to feel. The last time when he'd seen him, he thought he'd have a full blown panic attack at the sight of the boy he'd come to love and think of as his son — regardless of how foolish it might have been on his part when Damian already had a father — suddenly being so much smaller and without any recollection of him. His heart had broke, his anger at himself and the situation had little to nowhere to go aside from the main room in the penthouse, and he did what he always did when he was blindsided by something he couldn't control or fix... he shut down. From everything. From everyone. No longer there being a light by his side to guide him through his own darkness, he sunk into it and has stayed there since. Because it's easier. Because that's... just what he does.

Yet despite the way shadows stretch across not only his face but his very heart as well, there's still that part within him that wants to reach out — that wants to hold him and tell him he's sorry for their fight and how much he's missed him but... he can't. Not because he considers it to be a weakness, but because he doesn't think he could recover from any more heartache, barely holding on by a thread as it is.

So he stands there. Silent. Tip of his finger still holding the elevator doors via the button and blue eyes stare hard to the grim on his finger. It's only after a moment of fighting with himself that he finally licks over his lips and glances to the empty space beside him there in the elevator. )

Get in.

Edited 2025-07-06 14:21 (UTC)

( nothing is as it should be. though whether that's for the better or worse, damian has yet to decide. the manor isn't the same, either. the tower isn't. goliath has grown. and damian feels lost in a way he hasn't before. he's lost his purpose, lost his family, had only recently been disowned by his mother, disinherited by the league he had spent his entire life training to overtake. being somewhere new is - fine. being without anyone who damian truly recognizes is something else entirely. he isn't alone but it feels like he may be.

and now he stands surrounded by bats, waiting for this man, his father who isn't quite his father, to give him - something to latch onto. he barely knows his own father, and damian knows he hadn't been particularly kind to the man during their brief time together. he regrets it in the same breath he also acknowledges his greeting to this one hadn't been welcoming either. finding the balance between damian wayne and damian al ghul has been difficult and he's still trying to figure it out. just like he is now.

damian's mouth presses together in a tight line, waiting for bruce to answer him.

it's another order. he considers being indignant about it just because he can, but instead takes several steps forward to bring himself into the elevator. quietly. )

( Damian steps inside and Bruce lets go of the button holding the doors, watching as they’re finally able to slowly slide shut. For a moment, they stay there — unmoving. Blue eyes stare ahead at the closed doors, a hundred different thoughts swirling in his head before he finally goes and pushes the button to take them up and the elevator, with a gentle jolt, starts going up.

It’s a little ways up, what with the penthouse being above the tower and all, and there isn’t any sort of elevator music to fill the silence between them. Just the various thoughts in his head that he either quickly shoves aside or considers briefly before it, too, is shoved away. It’s only when they’re about a quarter of the way up that he looks over to Damian there out of the corner of his eye — heart a beating drum — then looks back to the doors. He’s not dead, Dick had said to him and he knows that. He just… doesn’t remember him. Them. Here. Isn’t that something to grieve? Of course, Bruce is never one to handle grief, let alone any sort of loss, healthily or sans dramatics, so. This would be the sort of reaction from him — a certain train of thought, without a doubt.

After a moment, he finally speaks and his words are soft and tired. )

It’s a little big, isn’t it?

( The hoodie Damian wears, he means. )

( it's difficult to - censor himself down. damian has always been loud and haughty, indignant with a stubborn streak that has irritated even his mother at times. he's the kind of boy who declares he's correct and refuses to accept anything else. who hates when others make demands of him and just expect him to follow through, because he is no one's to order around. he is the child of talia al ghul and the bat, damian was born to become something greater than anyone could ever imagine.

he also recognizes that leaning back into that, into the words his mother had murmured softly to him about him being the one who will control the world isn't - it's not something he wants. he has enjoyed his time working alongside grayson, enjoyed meeting wilkes, and spending time with pennyworth isn't terrible. it's the first time in a long time that he's been beside someone long enough to get to know them well without his mother drowning them after they've run their course. and just like damian knows he doesn't want the life that had been mapped out for him before he was born, he knows opening his mouth and showing it to bruce wayne is never advisable. it's why he's particularly quiet. he and grayson have been working on his ability to fill silences with useless retorts or throwing out 'catchphrases', as stupid as they are, but none of those would help fill in the kind of silence they're experiencing now.

his father mentions the hoodie, and damian - shoves his hands into the large pocket on the front of it, pulling both arms out to demonstrate just how oversized it is. )

I couldn't find anything closer to my size that was not pink or covered in horses.

I'm sure one of the clothing spots around here has something.

( Even as he offers the gentle suggestion, he looks ahead — looks to the doors — before his gaze drops down to the floor of the elevator. The ride up doesn't take much longer and, the moment the doors slowly slide open, he's making his leave, expecting Damian to follow along.

The main room is, well. Still a bit of a disaster and not how Damian had last seen it when he'd dropped in. Things have been flung and thrown across the room — the table still remains shoved against the wall and a board game he'd been playing with Damian before remains turned over on the floor, pieces scattered everywhere. The glass, at least, has been cleaned up and a few of the books have been placed back on the table or bookcase, but. Beyond that, it still wears the damage of Hurricane Bruce all those days ago.

Coming up to the table there, he sets his earpiece down on it and stands there. Quiet. Staring to the thing and remembering the way Damian had crushed his under his boot while Bruce had thrown his into the depths of the terminal. It'd taken some time to find it, but. He had and while he carries it with him, he doesn't always use it. )

I don't hate you. ( He says then, still staring to the device. ) If that's what you're wondering. I couldn't even if I tried.

( there are likely some clothing that would fit him better around here, and he's gotten a few sets from one of the "stores" available. but his closet had been pre-filled with clothes a few sizes too big. it only goes to show that damian certainly doesn't belong here, that another him had been here before who was older, more experienced, more tolerable by his father's standards given the reaction he'd given damian when he'd first shown up at the tower.

the door opens up onto the penthouse floor, and damian steps his way out quietly. looks around the mess and wrinkles his nose in response because - )

You shouldn't be permitted to be pulled through different universes without Pennyworth. ( damian misses him. the manor is cleanish but it could always be better. and given the gaming cabinet available in the main living area - it's clear he hasn't been here any time recently. hands leave the pocket of his hoodie, and damian starts sifting through the various items that have been thrown around, picking them up to put them away - or close enough. ) Hatred is not something I would have expected from you.

( Well. He's not wrong. About either assessment, really. This is the longest he's been without Alfred, never mind on his own now.

He stands there. Silent. Watching the way Damian goes about gently picking up a few things here and there. Books that belonged to him when he was older — maybe one of them a scrapbook he doodled in... Bruce doesn't move from where he is there at the table and just... looks down. He's not dead, he hears Dick saying again. A Dick who, like Damian here, doesn't remember him or their time together.

He wonders if that gets easier. Or if it simply makes him more distant from everyone around him. )

I wasn't your family. ( He says then and he refers to the fact that he wasn't— isn't his father in the sense of being from the same Gotham. A glance away, he swallows. ) But you were mine.

( a few books get tucked under an arm, before damian finds a sketchbook and picks it up by the cover, letting it flip open to one of the pages covered in sketches of goliath being - goliath. coddling a log, napping atop a rock, being defeated by a cat of all creatures. damian's eyes narrow because he does recognize the penmanship, but he's quick to flip the sketchbook over so it closes again and

turns his attention to bruce. )

I'm not him. There are two "Bruce Wayne"s, yes? Perhaps this is something similar.

No, you're not.

( And it hurts in ways he never thought it would. )

You should go be with your family.

( Since it won't be found here in this mess of a penthouse he has to himself. Alfred would be appalled, but. He's not here. It's just him and at that, he turns to make his way up the stairs. )

( there's a scowl on his face, but damian lets it sit for a moment while he picks up the books and puts them back on their respective shelves. at least, as best as he can tell where they go. but bruce, his father of a sort, opens his mouth and says - something absolutely idiotic.

damian turns towards him with a book still pressed to his chest, brows furrowed. )

You realize the others here are as different to me as I am to you, yes?

You all seem to know each other regardless.

( None of them exist back within his own Gotham. Maybe they never will. Maybe he’s The Batman meant to go it alone.

Either way, his steps are slow and heavy as he starts up the stairs, physically drained as much as he is emotionally. Hand reaching out to clasp the banister there, he keeps on with his going up. )

If you’ve come to test me and see if I’m who you think I am or came in search of Batman, I’m not in the mood.

I don't need to test you.

( he's still cleaning up. putting books away, sorting through miscellaneous items laying around, and when bruce starts up the stairs, damian - raises his voice so he can be heard. )

Grayson is my Batman, ( he starts, words slow and every syllable enunciated. ) but he isn't here. Father had been 'dead' for some time. I am aware of Todd but during the brief times we had spent together, I had left grievously injured. Drake despises me. I tolerate Gordon. So, whilst I may be familiar with them, I am not familiar with them as they currently are.

Maybe you should get to know them then. While you have the chance to here.

( He offers that suggestion of sorts as he reaches the top of the stairs and, still holding to the banister, he looks down to Damian there. So small, so childish. Yet still every bit the way he remembers him in stubbornness and a refusal to accept anything beyond what he feels he should know. It’s both familiar and upsetting to be around such a personality like his again. Yet he can’t bring himself to tell him to leave or to disappear into his room.

For the moment, anyways. )

Do you want to get rid of me?

( it's pointed. damian tips his head up so he meets bruce's gaze, mouth pressed into a tight line but he's - not looking away. not avoiding him. he wants an answer. wants to know what it is that has his father, has this man, wanting him to go away so badly. )

( It’s a complicated question.

The boy he’d been with here for over a year — the one who had wormed his way past his emotional defences and made his way into his heart is no longer here and he’s not the same boy. He knows that — doesn’t need Damian here to tell him. Just as he’s not the Bruce Wayne so many of them know and how unfair it is to expect him to be despite the shared name and similarities. The thought has him pause — has him glance down to the banister he holds there at the top of the stairs. He doesn’t like it being done to him, but he’s doing it to Damian here with his wanting to distance himself from him with not being his Damian here in Etraya. It’s… complicated. Feeling as though he has a right to feel the things he feels, yet at the same time, he can’t take it out on this smaller Damian when he’s done nothing but merely arrive here unknowingly himself.

It’s just… a conundrum of feelings.

He looks over then from where he stands — sees that familiar expression that’s been directed his way before in the past and he just… sighs, gaze slipping away. )

I did at first. Because it hurt to see you.

( Fingers clutching the banister, he looks back over to him. )

But it’s not your fault. Just like it’s not my fault I’m not the man you were hoping for.

( it's not a complicated question, as far as damian is concerned. he doesn't know his father that well. had spent a bit of time with him before the man had 'died', but most of his time in gotham has been spent with those around him, not with him - directly. it hadn't been all that long ago that he'd been worried his father wouldn't want him when - if - he came back. it's a fear that still sits with him, because damian knows bruce wayne won't tolerate him as richard grayson has. knows richard understands him in a way his father won't: he, too, is a child who had been raised with many expectations placed on his shoulders by others. whose status as batman was given due to those expectations, regardless of if he wanted it or not.

damian was born to power. was raised with the expectation he would take to it. abandoned his heritage to stay beside richard in the home his father built, but he's never. . . spent much time around the man himself. )

You say that as if you know what I hoped for. ( because damian knows he doesn't. all he wants is a father. someone who can understand him, who won't abandon him, who won't disown him because of the path he's chosen in life. who won't look at him through the lenses of what he could become but see him for who he is. he realizes now, looking at this man, he already has that through his connection with richard, but damian also knows it isn't - the same. richard is a boy who was forced to become a man when his, their, father had met his end. he should not be saddled with children that aren't his. ) What is it, that you think I wanted?

( At that, he sighs and lets himself slowly drop down there at the top of the stairs until he’s sitting on the top one, hand still touching at the banister. While his gaze looks out into the mess of the main floor, he stares past it — blinking slowly before he just goes and shuts his eyes. )

I don’t know. People hear or see Bruce Wayne and it seems like they already have expectations, if not curiosities.

( Something he’s come to learn from them here while also having dealt with to an extent back within his own Gotham. It’s just been much easier to hide and be a recluse there. Though he does his best here, too. )

( so, nothing. the expression on damian's face twists to something - irritated, annoyed, because this man clearly has no idea what he's rambling on about. of course one would be curious about bruce wayne, the batman. of course there are expectations that come along with the title his father has chosen. if there weren't, he would be more concerned.

as it is, damian's rolling his eyes as he moves to climb the staircase after this - overgrown child. )

I have minimal experience with Bruce Wayne. The man who was my father was taken out by Darkseid not long after Mother had decided I was ready to meet him. The only expectations I may have had, I realized were unfounded shortly after we met.

( He's heard this story before but chooses not to comment on it. Instead, he just sits there and watches as Damian makes his way up the stairs towards him. )

And how do you feel now? Coming across some other, younger version of your father who doesn't even have a Robin where he's from?

I think you are just as lost here as I.

( he's up the stairs, but chooses to walk right passed bruce rather than pause in front of him. this is new territory for him, and he intends on inspecting it. )

Surrounded by others who are more familiar with who you may become rather than who you are.

( Sitting there on the stairs, he looks over his shoulder as he watches Damian continue one. Down the hall, there's a set of doors — one of them locked with a chain and padlock wrapped through the handles. Damian's room as his parents room is a little ways further down. Also locked. )

Is that why you're here? To see if you can find parts of yourself?

No.

( he isn't looking. there was a damian here before, but as far as he's concerned, it wasn't him. that was another damian, a clone, a copy who went similar life experiences but hadn't experienced this specific moment, and therefore it's - irrelevant. instead, he's looking at bruce's things. sifting through shelves, checking over personal items, to discern who this bruce is. )

I am here because I don't want to be alone.

( At that, he falls quiet — mulls over Damian's words there. He... shouldn't be alone, he thinks. Damian, that is. Him, on the other hand, well. He's getting used to it? Even if he doesn't like it. Even if it still hurts. But Damian shouldn't be. Because even now, he cares for him too much to suffer like that. Like him.

After a moment, he slowly gets himself up from the top step — trails after the other with careful steps. Watching him and everything he searches through. )

( damian hates being alone.

there are certain circumstances in which it feels - better, to not have others around him. when he'd still been with the league, there were multiple instances in which he'd been alone. the year of blood had been undertaken with minimal outside assistance, as was required. but he is still a child, one who may have frequently been left alone to ensure he could manage to survive without anyone helping him, but a child nonetheless. one who fought hard for his mother's attention, who was looking forward to the day he would finally meet the man who fathered him. who has made choices no child should have had to. and he hasn't needed to be alone since moving to gotham. he's run off on his own when he wanted to, but pennyworth is always waiting for them back at home. grayson is always there for him when he needs someone.

here? everyone is different. nothing feels quite the same. there are two bruce waynes, both of whom are familiar with him but both who have different expectations for him. the tower is more familiar to him than the manor, and a younger version of his father feels more - safe.

bruce trails after him, and damian turns away from the bookshelf he's been sifting to in order to look to the man. watches him silently for a few moments, before he opens his mouth and asks, )

You're not going to tell me to leave again, are you?

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