The boy heβd been with here for over a year β the one who had wormed his way past his emotional defences and made his way into his heart is no longer here and heβs not the same boy. He knows that β doesnβt need Damian here to tell him. Just as heβs not the Bruce Wayne so many of them know and how unfair it is to expect him to be despite the shared name and similarities. The thought has him pause β has him glance down to the banister he holds there at the top of the stairs. He doesnβt like it being done to him, but heβs doing it to Damian here with his wanting to distance himself from him with not being his Damian here in Etraya. Itβsβ¦ complicated. Feeling as though he has a right to feel the things he feels, yet at the same time, he canβt take it out on this smaller Damian when heβs done nothing but merely arrive here unknowingly himself.
Itβs justβ¦ a conundrum of feelings.
He looks over then from where he stands β sees that familiar expression thatβs been directed his way before in the past and he justβ¦ sighs, gaze slipping away. )
I did at first. Because it hurt to see you.
( Fingers clutching the banister, he looks back over to him. )
But itβs not your fault. Just like itβs not my fault Iβm not the man you were hoping for.
( it's not a complicated question, as far as damian is concerned. he doesn't know his father that well. had spent a bit of time with him before the man had 'died', but most of his time in gotham has been spent with those around him, not with him - directly. it hadn't been all that long ago that he'd been worried his father wouldn't want him when - if - he came back. it's a fear that still sits with him, because damian knows bruce wayne won't tolerate him as richard grayson has. knows richard understands him in a way his father won't: he, too, is a child who had been raised with many expectations placed on his shoulders by others. whose status as batman was given due to those expectations, regardless of if he wanted it or not.
damian was born to power. was raised with the expectation he would take to it. abandoned his heritage to stay beside richard in the home his father built, but he's never. . . spent much time around the man himself. )
You say that as if you know what I hoped for. ( because damian knows he doesn't. all he wants is a father. someone who can understand him, who won't abandon him, who won't disown him because of the path he's chosen in life. who won't look at him through the lenses of what he could become but see him for who he is. he realizes now, looking at this man, he already has that through his connection with richard, but damian also knows it isn't - the same. richard is a boy who was forced to become a man when his, their, father had met his end. he should not be saddled with children that aren't his. ) What is it, that you think I wanted?
( At that, he sighs and lets himself slowly drop down there at the top of the stairs until heβs sitting on the top one, hand still touching at the banister. While his gaze looks out into the mess of the main floor, he stares past it β blinking slowly before he just goes and shuts his eyes. )
I donβt know. People hear or see Bruce Wayne and it seems like they already have expectations, if not curiosities.
( Something heβs come to learn from them here while also having dealt with to an extent back within his own Gotham. Itβs just been much easier to hide and be a recluse there. Though he does his best here, too. )
( so, nothing. the expression on damian's face twists to something - irritated, annoyed, because this man clearly has no idea what he's rambling on about. of course one would be curious about bruce wayne, the batman. of course there are expectations that come along with the title his father has chosen. if there weren't, he would be more concerned.
as it is, damian's rolling his eyes as he moves to climb the staircase after this - overgrown child. )
I have minimal experience with Bruce Wayne. The man who was my father was taken out by Darkseid not long after Mother had decided I was ready to meet him. The only expectations I may have had, I realized were unfounded shortly after we met.
( He's heard this story before but chooses not to comment on it. Instead, he just sits there and watches as Damian makes his way up the stairs towards him. )
And how do you feel now? Coming across some other, younger version of your father who doesn't even have a Robin where he's from?
( he's up the stairs, but chooses to walk right passed bruce rather than pause in front of him. this is new territory for him, and he intends on inspecting it. )
Surrounded by others who are more familiar with who you may become rather than who you are.
( Sitting there on the stairs, he looks over his shoulder as he watches Damian continue one. Down the hall, there's a set of doors β one of them locked with a chain and padlock wrapped through the handles. Damian's room as his parents room is a little ways further down. Also locked. )
Is that why you're here? To see if you can find parts of yourself?
( he isn't looking. there was a damian here before, but as far as he's concerned, it wasn't him. that was another damian, a clone, a copy who went similar life experiences but hadn't experienced this specific moment, and therefore it's - irrelevant. instead, he's looking at bruce's things. sifting through shelves, checking over personal items, to discern who this bruce is. )
( At that, he falls quiet β mulls over Damian's words there. He... shouldn't be alone, he thinks. Damian, that is. Him, on the other hand, well. He's getting used to it? Even if he doesn't like it. Even if it still hurts. But Damian shouldn't be. Because even now, he cares for him too much to suffer like that. Like him.
After a moment, he slowly gets himself up from the top step β trails after the other with careful steps. Watching him and everything he searches through. )
there are certain circumstances in which it feels - better, to not have others around him. when he'd still been with the league, there were multiple instances in which he'd been alone. the year of blood had been undertaken with minimal outside assistance, as was required. but he is still a child, one who may have frequently been left alone to ensure he could manage to survive without anyone helping him, but a child nonetheless. one who fought hard for his mother's attention, who was looking forward to the day he would finally meet the man who fathered him. who has made choices no child should have had to. and he hasn't needed to be alone since moving to gotham. he's run off on his own when he wanted to, but pennyworth is always waiting for them back at home. grayson is always there for him when he needs someone.
here? everyone is different. nothing feels quite the same. there are two bruce waynes, both of whom are familiar with him but both who have different expectations for him. the tower is more familiar to him than the manor, and a younger version of his father feels more - safe.
bruce trails after him, and damian turns away from the bookshelf he's been sifting to in order to look to the man. watches him silently for a few moments, before he opens his mouth and asks, )
You're not going to tell me to leave again, are you?
( Even at this age, he can see it. Their first encounter had been a little more different and Damian had left when told to, sure. But this time around... Damian has a somewhat better idea of what he's dealing with here, he figures, and he can't imagine him giving up so easily a second time around. Especially not when he seems so determined to be here in this space.
Quiet still, he keeps by the boy β allows his own gaze to drift around some before it settles back onto Damian and he stares to him. Again, quiet. )
There's a room here that belonged to you. ( A beat. ) The other you. If you want to see it. Unless you'd rather see what's below the tower.
( the circumstances are different. then, he hadn't known what he was getting into. he hadn't recognized who he'd run into. didn't know what it meant. now - he knows this is bruce wayne, the batman, albeit significantly younger to the extent he hasn't had a robin before. it's not necessarily a terrible thing.
damian never liked timothy anyway. or jason todd. stephanie brown is - well. he's still deciding that one. thus far she's seemed alright, aside from when she'd frozen him. timothy though? disgusting, better off without him. the only robin worth anything was richard up until his arrival. he hates even more that now he's in competition with himself.
he does, however, seem to - contemplate the question some. )
( Somehow, he figured heβd inquire about that. )
My workspace.
( He doesnβt exactly call it a batcave, given the fact that itβs within an abandoned subway terminal, private to the Wayne family, so. Workspace it is for the moment. However, given Damianβs curiosity about this place and his already snooping around, itβs best to just take him down there rather than end up finding him trying to get in at some point. Something heβs already learned with him before. )
( so, his cave. there's a spark of something behind damian's eyes, even if the excitement doesn't necessarily translate to a full on expression of joy. it's a watered down version of it, interest because damian always loves new toys to play with. )
Show me.
( but he's already heading back down the staircase and to the elevator, so bruce better hurry up. )
Sigh on his lips, he follows after Damian down the stairs, steps slow. He's careful of the mess as he steps through it β makes his way for the elevator there and, a hand dropping down to touch Damian's shoulder as a means to guide him over to the side once they're inside, he pulls the gate across and pushes the button to take them down.
Like before, it's a a trip down, but. The moment they reach the bottom, he pulls the gate open and the lights to the terminal turn on. There isn't much in the way of new things around, save for a couple things he's working on there on one of the tables, but. The car is there, as is the motorcycle that Damian used to ride. )
( there's a hand pressed to his shoulder, and damian - for a moment, stiffens under the pressure before he realizes it's just there to guide him. when he does, there's a moment where he's just - there, under his hand, before he leans into the touch just long enough for it to be noticed.
and takes off the moment the elevator's door is open. damian's off through the terminal, but the car gets his attention first. of course it's the car. rather than look over the tables, through the work station, anything, he's - grabbing onto the driver's side door and trying to pull it open. he assumes there's some security measures on it, but those aren't generally activated in the cave - or terminal, as this is. and if they are on? well. he'll be fine. )
( He watches as Damian more or less beelines it for the car and slips his hands into his pockets as he stands there. Again, he almost expected that, what with the way he'd been with the car beforeβ the other Damian had been, that is. But the car remains locked and Bruce just stands there a little ways behind. Watching. )
( he should have expected that. but it's locked and not set to electrocute the first person who touches it, which is really an oversight on bruce's part more than anything else. his hand remains on the handle, yanking on it but not enough to damage it, because, )
( it's the simple answer, but he knows it's not necessarily what bruce was looking for. so damian extends an offer of, ) I built my own Batmobile, with Richard.
So I can be told I am not permitted to drive it? Why bother.
( it's not as if he hasn't, nor wouldn't if the opportunity came, but he knows well that as long as there is another 'adult' around who is capable of driving it, damian won't be allowed to.
instead, he's pressing both hands down against the car so he can pull himself up and start checking out the engine. )
( The engine itself is Frankenstein's monster. He'd built it from the ground up himself β added the necessary improvements to make it the monster that it is. Bruce knows cars. How to both drive and build them and this is very much his first rendition of the Batmobile. His Batmobile.
Quiet, he watches Damian before he glances over... to a particular bike. A certain Batcycle. )
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The boy heβd been with here for over a year β the one who had wormed his way past his emotional defences and made his way into his heart is no longer here and heβs not the same boy. He knows that β doesnβt need Damian here to tell him. Just as heβs not the Bruce Wayne so many of them know and how unfair it is to expect him to be despite the shared name and similarities. The thought has him pause β has him glance down to the banister he holds there at the top of the stairs. He doesnβt like it being done to him, but heβs doing it to Damian here with his wanting to distance himself from him with not being his Damian here in Etraya. Itβsβ¦ complicated. Feeling as though he has a right to feel the things he feels, yet at the same time, he canβt take it out on this smaller Damian when heβs done nothing but merely arrive here unknowingly himself.
Itβs justβ¦ a conundrum of feelings.
He looks over then from where he stands β sees that familiar expression thatβs been directed his way before in the past and he justβ¦ sighs, gaze slipping away. )
I did at first. Because it hurt to see you.
( Fingers clutching the banister, he looks back over to him. )
But itβs not your fault. Just like itβs not my fault Iβm not the man you were hoping for.
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damian was born to power. was raised with the expectation he would take to it. abandoned his heritage to stay beside richard in the home his father built, but he's never. . . spent much time around the man himself. )
You say that as if you know what I hoped for. ( because damian knows he doesn't. all he wants is a father. someone who can understand him, who won't abandon him, who won't disown him because of the path he's chosen in life. who won't look at him through the lenses of what he could become but see him for who he is. he realizes now, looking at this man, he already has that through his connection with richard, but damian also knows it isn't - the same. richard is a boy who was forced to become a man when his, their, father had met his end. he should not be saddled with children that aren't his. ) What is it, that you think I wanted?
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I donβt know. People hear or see Bruce Wayne and it seems like they already have expectations, if not curiosities.
( Something heβs come to learn from them here while also having dealt with to an extent back within his own Gotham. Itβs just been much easier to hide and be a recluse there. Though he does his best here, too. )
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as it is, damian's rolling his eyes as he moves to climb the staircase after this - overgrown child. )
I have minimal experience with Bruce Wayne. The man who was my father was taken out by Darkseid not long after Mother had decided I was ready to meet him. The only expectations I may have had, I realized were unfounded shortly after we met.
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And how do you feel now? Coming across some other, younger version of your father who doesn't even have a Robin where he's from?
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( he's up the stairs, but chooses to walk right passed bruce rather than pause in front of him. this is new territory for him, and he intends on inspecting it. )
Surrounded by others who are more familiar with who you may become rather than who you are.
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Is that why you're here? To see if you can find parts of yourself?
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( he isn't looking. there was a damian here before, but as far as he's concerned, it wasn't him. that was another damian, a clone, a copy who went similar life experiences but hadn't experienced this specific moment, and therefore it's - irrelevant. instead, he's looking at bruce's things. sifting through shelves, checking over personal items, to discern who this bruce is. )
I am here because I don't want to be alone.
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After a moment, he slowly gets himself up from the top step β trails after the other with careful steps. Watching him and everything he searches through. )
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there are certain circumstances in which it feels - better, to not have others around him. when he'd still been with the league, there were multiple instances in which he'd been alone. the year of blood had been undertaken with minimal outside assistance, as was required. but he is still a child, one who may have frequently been left alone to ensure he could manage to survive without anyone helping him, but a child nonetheless. one who fought hard for his mother's attention, who was looking forward to the day he would finally meet the man who fathered him. who has made choices no child should have had to. and he hasn't needed to be alone since moving to gotham. he's run off on his own when he wanted to, but pennyworth is always waiting for them back at home. grayson is always there for him when he needs someone.
here? everyone is different. nothing feels quite the same. there are two bruce waynes, both of whom are familiar with him but both who have different expectations for him. the tower is more familiar to him than the manor, and a younger version of his father feels more - safe.
bruce trails after him, and damian turns away from the bookshelf he's been sifting to in order to look to the man. watches him silently for a few moments, before he opens his mouth and asks, )
You're not going to tell me to leave again, are you?
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( Even at this age, he can see it. Their first encounter had been a little more different and Damian had left when told to, sure. But this time around... Damian has a somewhat better idea of what he's dealing with here, he figures, and he can't imagine him giving up so easily a second time around. Especially not when he seems so determined to be here in this space.
Quiet still, he keeps by the boy β allows his own gaze to drift around some before it settles back onto Damian and he stares to him. Again, quiet. )
There's a room here that belonged to you. ( A beat. ) The other you. If you want to see it. Unless you'd rather see what's below the tower.
( Wayne Terminal. His "batcave" basically. )
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damian never liked timothy anyway. or jason todd. stephanie brown is - well. he's still deciding that one. thus far she's seemed alright, aside from when she'd frozen him. timothy though? disgusting, better off without him. the only robin worth anything was richard up until his arrival. he hates even more that now he's in competition with himself.
he does, however, seem to - contemplate the question some. )
What do you have below the tower?
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My workspace.
( He doesnβt exactly call it a batcave, given the fact that itβs within an abandoned subway terminal, private to the Wayne family, so. Workspace it is for the moment. However, given Damianβs curiosity about this place and his already snooping around, itβs best to just take him down there rather than end up finding him trying to get in at some point. Something heβs already learned with him before. )
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Show me.
( but he's already heading back down the staircase and to the elevator, so bruce better hurry up. )
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Sigh on his lips, he follows after Damian down the stairs, steps slow. He's careful of the mess as he steps through it β makes his way for the elevator there and, a hand dropping down to touch Damian's shoulder as a means to guide him over to the side once they're inside, he pulls the gate across and pushes the button to take them down.
Like before, it's a a trip down, but. The moment they reach the bottom, he pulls the gate open and the lights to the terminal turn on. There isn't much in the way of new things around, save for a couple things he's working on there on one of the tables, but. The car is there, as is the motorcycle that Damian used to ride. )
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and takes off the moment the elevator's door is open. damian's off through the terminal, but the car gets his attention first. of course it's the car. rather than look over the tables, through the work station, anything, he's - grabbing onto the driver's side door and trying to pull it open. he assumes there's some security measures on it, but those aren't generally activated in the cave - or terminal, as this is. and if they are on? well. he'll be fine. )
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That's not for you.
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I wanted to look.
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( You know. Standing right there next to it and all. )
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he huffs, an indignant sound, but releases the door handle to instead attempt to open the hood of the vehicle and take a look there instead. )
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What are you looking for? It's a car.
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( it's the simple answer, but he knows it's not necessarily what bruce was looking for. so damian extends an offer of, ) I built my own Batmobile, with Richard.
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( Not that he's... advising that, but. Damian will figure it out eventually. )
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( it's not as if he hasn't, nor wouldn't if the opportunity came, but he knows well that as long as there is another 'adult' around who is capable of driving it, damian won't be allowed to.
instead, he's pressing both hands down against the car so he can pull himself up and start checking out the engine. )
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Quiet, he watches Damian before he glances over... to a particular bike. A certain Batcycle. )
Why'd you stop by again?
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cw: noncon references
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