( The reality of this situation hits him like a subway train and he's left feeling unbalanced, disoriented, and spiraling in a way he'd only just come back from when Alfred had been injured by the Riddler's attempt on Bruce Wayne's life, but. Even then, this somehow feels worse.
His heart continues to beat in his ears. Sometimes quick, sometimes slow, it's difficult for him to discern. Fingers gripping for dear life at the back of the chair as he looks around. The room isn't spinning but he can't help but feel on edge. He goes to take a breath β lets his eyes fall shut. He needs to ground himself β needs to bring his awareness back into himself and the room he's standing within, but it's difficult and he's struggling and it's making his chest grow tight.
This isn't fear attacking him. No. This is heartbreak.
Pushing himself away from the chair, it's then that he hears Damian β hears what he calls him and he... can't look to him β can only just barely make his way for the stairs. )
( he's still behind bruce, closer to the window than the man in front of him. watching as he grips onto the chair as if his life depends on it, observing as his eyes squeeze shut and he - it's not an expression he would consider to be normal for the man in front of him, but it's not as if damian has enough knowledge of the man his father was to truly make that distinction. their time together was short, and often spent with damian finding new ways to irritate the man.
there's a demand. a louder get out this time than the last, and damian has never been one to blindly follow orders but it's the way bruce says it that has him considering following along. it reminds him of his first time in wayne manor: how angry he'd been to have been abandoned, how pennyworth and his father locking him into the room with minimal access to the outside world had felt so demeaning, how much he'd yelled and screamed until bruce wayne had finally broken enough to yell at him. it'd been enough to throw him off balance, because he wasn't accustomed to that tone coming from someone who was meant to be - above him.
it's why now, when bruce makes demands of damian and he doesn't know how to respond to it in an indignant manner without it being too much, damian just - )
Understood.
( a step back, and another until he can feel the wall behind him. damian twists around and grabs onto the window sill, raising himself up and onto it until he can drop himself out of it. it's a bit of a fall, but it's nothing he hasn't managed before. )
( It's only when Damian takes his leave that the dam within him finally breaks.
Rather than head for the stairs as he'd been intending to, he pivots β hands knocking every single thing on the table there to the floor, the sound practically ricocheting off the walls. As when Alfred had been out in the hospital, everything within him comes out in a fit of rage and heartbreak and he takes it out on the penthouse and his surroundings. The table is shoved across the room β things clattering to and smashing on the ground. A glass is thrown against the wall, books and journals tossed across the room, his guitar kicked over and a bookcase tipped over to the floor. The sound that leaves him is pained and filled with a rage he only ever displays on the streets at times. But more than that, it's one of heartache and there being no place for it to go and so he tries to punch his way through it via the destruction of the penthouse or at least the room he's currently in.
Breathing heavy, he stumbles for the stairs and lets himself fall to them, hand grasping the one above his head where his brow presses to and he forces his eyes to shut β tries to will the tears away he can feel coming, but. No matter how many criminals he faces on the streets, no matter how many times he flees GCPD, no matter how many beatings he takes, he's still just a man beneath the mask and his heart is just as capable of breaking as anyone else's.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
His heart continues to beat in his ears. Sometimes quick, sometimes slow, it's difficult for him to discern. Fingers gripping for dear life at the back of the chair as he looks around. The room isn't spinning but he can't help but feel on edge. He goes to take a breath β lets his eyes fall shut. He needs to ground himself β needs to bring his awareness back into himself and the room he's standing within, but it's difficult and he's struggling and it's making his chest grow tight.
This isn't fear attacking him. No. This is heartbreak.
Pushing himself away from the chair, it's then that he hears Damian β hears what he calls him and he... can't look to him β can only just barely make his way for the stairs. )
I said get out!
no subject
there's a demand. a louder get out this time than the last, and damian has never been one to blindly follow orders but it's the way bruce says it that has him considering following along. it reminds him of his first time in wayne manor: how angry he'd been to have been abandoned, how pennyworth and his father locking him into the room with minimal access to the outside world had felt so demeaning, how much he'd yelled and screamed until bruce wayne had finally broken enough to yell at him. it'd been enough to throw him off balance, because he wasn't accustomed to that tone coming from someone who was meant to be - above him.
it's why now, when bruce makes demands of damian and he doesn't know how to respond to it in an indignant manner without it being too much, damian just - )
Understood.
( a step back, and another until he can feel the wall behind him. damian twists around and grabs onto the window sill, raising himself up and onto it until he can drop himself out of it. it's a bit of a fall, but it's nothing he hasn't managed before. )
no subject
Rather than head for the stairs as he'd been intending to, he pivots β hands knocking every single thing on the table there to the floor, the sound practically ricocheting off the walls. As when Alfred had been out in the hospital, everything within him comes out in a fit of rage and heartbreak and he takes it out on the penthouse and his surroundings. The table is shoved across the room β things clattering to and smashing on the ground. A glass is thrown against the wall, books and journals tossed across the room, his guitar kicked over and a bookcase tipped over to the floor. The sound that leaves him is pained and filled with a rage he only ever displays on the streets at times. But more than that, it's one of heartache and there being no place for it to go and so he tries to punch his way through it via the destruction of the penthouse or at least the room he's currently in.
Breathing heavy, he stumbles for the stairs and lets himself fall to them, hand grasping the one above his head where his brow presses to and he forces his eyes to shut β tries to will the tears away he can feel coming, but. No matter how many criminals he faces on the streets, no matter how many times he flees GCPD, no matter how many beatings he takes, he's still just a man beneath the mask and his heart is just as capable of breaking as anyone else's.
And like his heart, he breaks. )